


When the Justice League Parties

by Tragicplaywright



Category: DCU (Comics), Justice League of America (Comics)
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, So many characters I can't tag them all, This is what happens when the league throws a party, most of them are just cameos anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 04:49:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13756671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tragicplaywright/pseuds/Tragicplaywright
Summary: “Oh yeah, Diana’s very excited to do all the traditional American party games. We have piñatas, pin the bat symbol on the batman, apple bobbing and musical chairs. By the end we’ll probably be playing truth or dare and spin the bottle.”Hal squints at him, “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”Or what happens when the league finds out that Hal and Bruce's birthdays are one day after the other.





	When the Justice League Parties

Bruce buries his face in his hands with a groan, it’s been a long day. Alfred and his kids have been acting weird all day. Tim had asked him if he knew what day it was, which wasn’t itself too unusual, but so had Dick and Alfred. _Alfred_. Damian had congratulated him at breakfast but refused to extrapolate on his reason, only saying that Dick had told him that ‘such things were traditional on a day such as this’, then had avoided him for the rest of the day.

On top of all that, The Riddler escaped Arkham two days prior and he still has no leads to go on.

His JLA communicator beeps, signalling an incoming transmission from the watchtower. Bruce sighs. He’s too damned tired to deal with this right now. Nevertheless, he pulls on his cowl and accepts the call. Diana’s face fills the monitor screen, looking relieved that he answered.

“Bruce.” She greets him warmly.

“Wonder Woman.”

Picking up on his mood, Diana gets straight to her point. “I am in need of your assistance.”

Bruce sighs again. “Very well. I will be there shortly.”

Diana grins widely before cutting the transmission. Bruce stands slowly, muscles protesting the movement. The cut on his leg twinges as he walks, making his way over to the teleporter.

He hasn’t been alerted of any major disasters or alien invasion, Bruce considers as he inputs the watchtower’s co-ordinates. Diana hadn’t seemed particularly concerned so whatever it is mustn’t be too dire. Most likely she wants to go over strategy or watchtower security with him.

If it were anyone else he would have refused them, being too busy in Gotham but he trusts Diana not to bother him with anything trivial.

A decision he would later come to regret.

 

***

 

Hal Jordan steps out of the teleporter scanning the room for J’onn. The Martian had called him asking if they could discuss earth-terrestrial relations, however now he was no-where to be seen. Must be in the monitor room, Hal decides.

The teleporter lights up behind him, Batman appearing a second later. He pauses as he sees Hal, the white of his cowl narrowing. “Jordan.”

“Spooky.” Hal smirks, “Did J’onn call you in as well?”

“No,” The eyes seem to narrow further, if that is even possible, “Diana did.”

It’s not too unusual but something is niggling at the back of Hal’s mind. Something about this doesn’t feel right, like there’s something he’s missing.

“Hey, do you know what day it is?” He asks.

Bruce’s jaw clenches and he stalks away further into the watchtower, leaving Hal to run after him. “Hey! What did I say?”

 

***

 

The doors to the meeting room burst open as he arrives, a cacophony of shouts assaulting Bruce’s ears. Instinctively he reaches for a batarang and smoke pellet, sensing Hal create a construct behind him.

Then he registers the huge banner that Captain Marvel and Kyle Rayner are holding, floating above a mass of brightly coloured superheroes. ‘Happy Birthday’ it reads in block letters. Hnnn. Is it the nineteenth of February already?

Tables laden with food line both walls, and the meeting table is commandeered by a cake half its size. Balloons and streamers litter the room, stretching from wall to wall as if they had been put there by toddlers.

His eyes lock onto Diana’s and she beams unapologetically. The betrayal goes straight to his heart and he needs a moment to re-evaluate how much faith he can put in all his personal relationships. The fact that all his children are there as well did not escape his notice. It, at least, explained their earlier behaviour.

Moment over, he turns to leave. He has important matters to attend to in Gotham and he has no time for anything as unnecessary as a joint birthday party between him and Jordan. Even the thought of how insufferable Hal will be sends a shiver down his spine.

Instantly Clark is in front of him. “No, Bruce stay.” Bruce keeps walking. “Please, just for a little while.” Clark pleads.

Bruce is thoroughly unimpressed, and he knows that Clark can see it.

“This is pointless. I don’t need to celebrate my birthday, I know how old I am.”

“And how old is that?”

Bruce glares at him. “Hnnn.”

“C’mon Bruce, just relax for a little. Gotham will survive without you for one night. Oracle and their birds are looking over it.” Clark looks over to where Dinah is ruffling Hal’s hair. “Or at least most of them are.”

Bruce looks back over the sea of heroes, coming to rest on a familiar leather jacket. Jason leans against the wall, alone, and by the set in his shoulders Bruce can tell how uncomfortable he is. A warmth spreads through his chest.

“Alright.” He relents.

 

***

 

Hal can’t think of a time he’s been more happily surprised. He gets surprised _a lot_  but usually it’s because of a villain or Batman appearing out of the shadows or something equally unpleasant. It was inevitable, he knew, once a large enough amount of people knew his and Bruce’s secret identities they’d discovered that their birthdays were a day after the other.

“Happy birthday Hal.” Suddenly Barry is in front of him, holding a green party hat, a matching red one already sitting on his head.

“Bar, you went to all this trouble for me? You shouldn’t have.”

Barry snorts, “It’s for Bruce as well. And Diana and J’onn were really the ones who organised this.”

Hal waves his hand, “Technicalities”

A loud cheer erupts from the other side of the room. Hal cranes his neck, but he can’t see the cause of the commotion through the sea of bodies. “What’s going on over there?”

Barry zooms off to investigate, reappearing less than a second later. “Piñata.”

“What?”

“Oh yeah, Diana’s very excited to do all the traditional American party games. We have piñatas, pin the bat symbol on the batman, apple bobbing and musical chairs. By the end we’ll probably be playing truth or dare and spin the bottle.”

Hal squints at him, “I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”

 

***

 

Barry had not been joking, a fact that delights one Dick Grayson to no end. He is always first in line to try a game and, putting his bat skills to use, wins most of them. Wally accuses him of cheating which leads to one soaking wet speedster, an embarrassing video courtesy of Roy and a lot of bruised apples.

 

***

 

Hal finds J’onn by the snack table, having commandeered the plate of Oreos.

“I enjoy this human custom.” J’onn says, “I hope this celebration of your birth is adequate.”

Hal smiles. “Yeah, J’onn, yeah it really is.” He reaches for an Oreo but stops short at J’onn’s sudden glare.

 

***

 

“Fight me.”

Bruce stares impassively at Guy. Kyle sighs and attempts to drag his fellow green lantern away.

“Fight me.” Guy repeats, voice slurring.

Bruce contemplates the pros and cons of punching him. It wouldn’t be as satisfying as the last time, an intoxicated Guy stood less than no chance when a sober one had gone down in one punch. And punching a drunk man would do horrible things for his reputation.

In the end he walks away, Guy calling insults after him.

 

***

 

Diana is the best at giving gifts. This is a known fact and a title that she feels the need to defend. Hal and Bruce will love her gifts, she knows they will. They’d better.

 

***

 

The cake absolutely is massive. Four tiers of differing flavours, the bottommost layer three quarters of a meter in diameter. This isn’t a problem, there are four speedsters present and every one of them could eat the whole cake alone.

No, the problem was that neither Bruce or Hal were willing to disclose how old they are. So, Clark being the good friend he is, and despite knowing how old they are turning, bought enough candles to cover the entire cake.

If it weren’t for the flashes it would have taken a long time to blow them all out.

 

***

 

Hal should have known better than to accept Ollie’s challenge to a drinking contest. And he _really_  should have known better when Dinah decided to join in as well.

She won of course.

 

***

 

The party ended in the early hours of the morning. Those still awake trudged to the teleporters while those passed out lay in heaps over each other and various furniture.

Bruce collects his kids and Stephanie, who couldn’t turn down the invitation to party with the justice league, and ushers them home to the manor where they all disperse to their respective rooms.

A light hand touches his shoulder and Bruce looks down at Cass. She studies his face for a moment then nods to herself, satisfied by what she sees there.

“Happy birthday… dad.”

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't just write nothing when I found out that Bruce's birthday was on the 19th and Hal's on the 20th. 
> 
>  
> 
> Come talk to me at my new tumblr writing account https://tragicplaywrightwritings.tumblr.com/


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